Whoever is running this huge Broadway show we call Life has got a fantastic sense of humour.

Or, maybe I’m just a loser that way.

I was out partying with a friend (let’s call him “J”) a few weeks ago when he suddenly blurted out, “I heard that X (who’s a mutual friend) got it on with A (this girl that we sort of know)!”

“WHAT? How could he? Why?” I snapped back.

And so my friend said, “Why do you look so shocked?” To which I replied, “Cos I actually kinda fancied X ...?”

Well, at this point most of you are probably waiting for the part where my friend J would reveal his feelings for me, that as it had all turned out, I had liked the wrong guy and had been totally oblivious to the one who really fancied me.

Nope. J does not like me.

Instead, J said, “Well, X really liked you.”

OMG. This was getting better. “What?” I stuttered.

J then explained that I was X’s “first choice” and that he had only moved on to A because he thought I wasn’t interested in him.

“This is really stupid,” I told J. “How could X not tell I was keen on him?”

To cut the long story short, X was convinced I wasn’t interested and moved on to his next target, who was A. J told me that I needed to work on my flirting skills because he said no one could have told that I was keen on that guy.

It was a rude awakening. What is considered “good flirting skills”? I’ve never had anyone tell me that I could not flirt to save my life. Sure, I may not be an over-the-top flirt where I shamelessly toss my hair at every chance I get and, giggle and laugh at everything a man says, but I think I do make a decent attempt at looking interested in whatever smart things he’s got to say!

Honestly, I’m of the opinion that men will have to start recognising the more subtle forms of flirting such as …

1. Conversational flirting

When I meet a guy I’m interested in, I get into a conversation with him. I mean … why else would I be wasting my time trying to understand what is it that you do for a living and whether you love your job or not?

2. Intellectual engagement

I used to think guys appreciated girls who have something intelligent to say about soccer, gadgets, the stock market, politics … until someone told me that I should just pretend to be interested in only shopping. What the …? If I bothered killing brain cells to tell you why Man U is still THE soccer team to support, I think it’s worth noting that this means I. Like. You. Duh!

3. Electronic contact

People meet new people every day. It’s not all the time we add all these new people to our list of Facebook friends. If I’ve only met you today and exchanged like three sentences with you, and then I added you on Facebook, what does it say? It means I want to keep in touch! Why do I want to keep in touch? Because I fancied that ratty t-shirt you were wearing? It’s because I’m sort of hoping that you might want to ask me out for coffee without me having to make that first move!

So dear X, I’m sorry to hear that you thought I didn’t fancy you. I mean, what did I have to do to make my interest more obvious? Give you the key to my apartment? Put my hand on your lap and lean suggestively towards you with that come-hither look in my eyes? Sorry, I guess we weren’t meant to be then.